Types of Love


type of loveMany people think one falls in love. Correction: one grows in love. However, one must learn the different type of love there are. 

Agape: Unconditional love-spiritual love-never fails-foundational love

          Agape is a selfless kind of love. It is God’s love. It’s a love you give without expecting anything in return; reflected in all actions. Just like Jesus gave his life for our sins. Agape love is  where the one accepts the individual regardless of their flaws and faults. Agape love is the one everyone truly and deeply wishes to receive; the type of love that every marriage should start with. Love is demonstrated by the behavior towards another person; it is a committed and chosen type of  love. Agape is love with no string attached. “Love your neighbor” as the scripture says;  is how people are able to give to strangers such as the homeless without expecting anything in return.  Both give and take without expecting anything in return. They conquer it all and respect each other in all departments of life.

2. Philo: Platonic Love-love of the soul

       Successful marriages works with “philo” as its foundation. One doesn’t know where love stands until it has been tested through life’s issues. This type of love is based on similar interests, mindset, beliefs, values, principles and culture. In order to have this type of love, there ought to be a spiritual connection. Friendship is like a baby plant you nurture. It takes work to become a friend; some are coworkers, others are friends. Don’t give yourself all at once. Test those around you with a small dosage of who you are to see if they will honor and respect you for who you are. Love that knows forgiveness, acceptance and sacrifice; just like Christ. One that makes you feel secure, comfortable and safe. In some cases, “friendship” may turn into a “romantic relationship”, where the couple in such a relationship becomes “best friends”.

3. Eros: Love of the flesh.  Erotic Love- Lust desire- longing emotional attraction

Eros, known as the “Greek God” of sexual desire; defined as divine values and dispositions with someone and the feelings are reciprocated. Eros love is based on having sexual urges towards the individual. Lust is it’s name;  it is not love at all. It is based on beauty, sensuality, a sexual desire of the flesh known as lust. This type of love fades within a year or month; and does not fulfill a healthy marriage.  It usually leads to self satisfaction of the flesh which is usually known as “hook ups” or “one night stands” in this 21st century. Eros should be shown only in marriage as the sexual intimate portion.

Truth be told; one needs all 3 types of love to have and keep a marriage going. 

13 Responses

  1. Marc Ho says:

    Thank you for sharing this and allowing us to see love in three different angles. Is it true each of us have preference over each type? For example some will prefer EROS over PHILO?

    I believe all is important and by knowing the differences,  relationships can be better managed and therefore more fruitful. 

    Hope to hear your response soon.

  2. Adyns68 says:

    Hi Linda

    This is another great post. I think you have made a great summary of relationships. I like the one about types of love. Today people tend to confuse all of them. Saying that I can be in love with many people, like eros type. Which is completely foolish, I hope more people will take the steps to refresh our memories and turn our heart back to God, because only He can help us get back to the right path.


  3. Pablo says:

    I really like the idea of this article, and particularly the platonic love that you mention, and how it describes it.

    It is true that if Plato raised his head, he would probably not applaud the course that took the adjectival of his name. Because Platonic love is not as simple as that which begins by contemplating and admiring the beauty or spirituality of the loved one, but the one that in that phase of contemplation has its beginning and also its crudest end.

    Platonic love does not transcend beyond that tender and childish phase of falling in love. In this fatuous love the ideal exalts and limits at the same time. And, in the end, all platonic love tortures us for their lack of correspondence.

    It is interesting to meet and achieve peace in the emotions of love, it is not an easy way .. 🙂


  4. Enrique says:

    Hi, Linda,

    You made me remember my Bible lessons in school. I remember that lesson perfectly. I was a teenager back then, but I can understand it better now. As we grow up, we have experiences that mold our character.

    It’s not easy to love our neighbor, especially a few ones who don’t help at all. But the world would be such a different placed if we all loved one another.

    Philo love is frequently misunderstood. Some people say that the love that existed between them ended. That’s why we see many divorces nowadays. Love is like a plant that needs to be nurtured.

    As you said, lust love is not love. It’s all about the flesh. Many people confuse love with lust and passion. That’s a big mistake.

    Thank you very much for sharing. God bless.

  5. MrBiizy says:

    Hello Linda, thank you for throwing more light and explaining with clarity the three types of love that we have. I have heard this teaching before but I have forgotten the vivid explainations of it before, now I am on track again and I can’t wait to grow in love with the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. Marriage is a good thing and can only stand with these 3 types of love in place. For me, agape love is the greatest love of all 

    Warm regards!

  6. JealousLi says:

    Yes, there are many types of love. Some because of the first impression. Some people fall in love with the time goes on. In my opinion, agape, Philo, these two types of love are what many people pursue. As you said in your post, one needs many types of love to have and keep a marriage going. If only one type, the marriage would meet problems more, even got broken.

  7. Carol5162 says:

    I believe Agape Love as the number one type of love that we must all give. I know it is not easy being selfless and give out without expecting anything in return. Our Lord has been so gracious in giving us this kind of love, even with all our flaws.You have explained well the types of love there is and the important roles they play in our lives.I think if we learn the virtue of selflessness, we can grow in love and nature what is worth nurturing.

    Thank you for this very insightful post.

  8. Jones says:

    Wow, this is so amazing, I’ve been looking forward to seeing something on love and this I really a blessing to me. I’ll like to comment on Agape love which is God’s love, it is this love that we enjoy as a Christian, God loves regardless of how we live, what faults we live by, and its this love that God have that made him give his only son, Jesus Christ. Agape love is true love, unending love, and its this love we should emanate as Christian. Eros love is the opposite of Agape, Eros is a permanent kind of life, it lusts, it fades with time and it this kind of love that I so common in our world. I’ve really enjoyed reading through, thanks for posting this article. 

  9. Myles says:

    After reading your article I am reminded of the Beatles song: “All You Need Is Love”. And I agree with your final statement where you say we need all 3 of the types of love that you talk about, that is when it comes to a marriage relationship. To love and be be loved, unconditionally, has got to be among the most rewarding of the events we can have in this human experience. Thnak you for this post and reminding us of the power (and need) for love. Keep up the great work!    

  10. C says:

    Thank you again Linda. I always enjoy visiting your website and learning about these interesting topics. I think that its good to understand the different components of love. It may not be black and white, the love in some relationships could have components of each. 

    I feel “Agape” or the unconditional love you mentioned a lot of the time since over the course of my life, I got more in touch with it. I think it’s a very wholesome kind of love to be able to experience. Your article helped me reflect on some important things today and made me grateful that I developed unconditional love. 

  11. Nice Gal Nikki says:

    Wow I love your website. I’m a Christian so to see a website like this touched my heart. 🙂 I never knew about all the different types of love until a few years ago at church. The way you are teaching people here is very amazing and encouraging at the same time. Keep spreading the Good News! God bless you!

  12. Wayne says:

    You are absolutely right, we need all three to love as Christ loves.  With these in our heart, we can forgive anything.

    We all have baggage of some kind or another when we enter a marriage.  Christ said that we should never think of ourselves as better than another.  This is Love.  Marriages flourish when we remember this and forgive. This is love.

    Selfishness is what drives marriages apart.  There is no real love when selfishness reigns.


  13. Henderson says:

    I don’t think that everyone knows about this you have written here. I too didn’t know the difference between agape love. I thought it was the type we give. Now I know that agape love is that given by God. Seeing this and having a clarity is good.  I have to agree there that this three are needed for a good marriage and someone’s love for you have to seriously stand the test of time. Nice post here.

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