Have you read Part 1?
I wanted to earn a living to view and provide for my family and not depend on the welfare nor compromise my body for men to pay my bills. God is my source and I am grateful to share what he has done in me. He has allowed me to teach them respect and love of the Lord as I share with them the highs and lows I’ve been through. As a result of the things that I encountered in life it is a tool to encourage my daughters how to approach situations by carrying themselves as young ladies and providing scripture references to read that relates to everyday life. I shared my shortcoming. There was a time when I was too ashamed of the acts I committed to ever discuss them with anyone let alone my daughters.
But Jesus gave me the strength to be totally honest, not only with my daughters but with myself. It was then that I found deliverance. Having been justified by faith through repentance, God has made me accountable for raising my daughters in a life of faithfulness to Christ. With the help of Christ, I know that I can really do all things. I know that Jesus Christ is able to complete the work He has started in me. When I am at a bleak point in my life, I just focus my mind on these words. It allows me to endure and to rest in knowing that He is not finished with me yet. Coming clean with myself also meant allowing God to have His way in my life and not simply using Him to try and have my own way.
For example, I would often ask God for a husband. I would say things like, “I just want to be special to someone.” Every time, God’s response to me would be His silence. He would not say one word! I didn’t know that God was teaching me to seek His will over my own. This brings me to the point of this testimony. Are we living to please Jesus or should Jesus be living to please us? We all know the ‘right’ answer, but I am talking about what is really in our hearts. Sometimes, I would like to think that Jesus is here to give me what I want, but I know that this is just my own desires leading me. I am so thankful that the Jesus has given me new desires along with a new heart.
“Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.” Psalms 37:4
Part of my growth has been learning to distinguish between the old and the new. What does it really mean to be made a new creature in Christ? For me it means no longer having to walk in the guilt and shame of things that I did in the past. It means no longer having to bear what felt like a reproach for being a single pearl (mom), desiring a husband only for the purpose of looking a certain way to others. It means no longer looking for the world to fulfil me because I was incomplete on the inside. I can’t change the decision or what I have done… but, I am so very glad that the Lord has changed who I am.
Through His Word, He has shown me that I have authority in His name to bind the powers of darkness that seek a home in the hearts of my children and to destroy the bloodline pattern of children born outside of marriage. As my daughters, gran darling and future grand children see the new life of Christ has given to me they don’t have to walk down the dark streets that I once knew. I am so blessed that God’s will is being established in my life. But, I must be honest; it is not a cake walk… it takes patience, and prayer. In order for this to happen I had to enter into a personal, committed relationship with Him alone.
. In this relationship with Jesus Christ, I had to allow him to fill the areas of my life that distracted me from Him. In a real way, I had to ask Him to reveal to me just how special I am to Him. He showed me through his word. In His love is the promise of being made whole; having all hurts healed and mending my broken heart forever. No human hands could do this! I can understand anyone experiencing the heart of a single mother and my prayer is to be a poured-out vessel for young women in this situation. But, I could not have written this article without first experiencing what I have shared with you today. There were many tears…pitfalls…rejections…trials, but the Lord has brought me through them all. Even better, he has replaced the emptiness with joy, peace, and love!
If you are a single mother reading this article and haven’t come to know Jesus Christ as Savior, I challenge you to invite Him into your heart and allow the cleansing power of Jesus Christ to take place in your life. He will make you into a virtuous and give you beauty for ashes. “Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies” (Proverbs 31:10). Proverbs Chapter 31 talks about what it means to be a virtuous woman and these attributes start and end with how she reflects upon her husband. Although I am not married, I am betrothed to Jesus. As His Bride, I want to please Him in all I do so that it may be said of me “Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praised her.” – Proverbs 31:29.
Some people might think that being virtuous means being ‘modest’ or ‘pure’ but it is more than that. The word in Scripture is the Hebrew word chayil meaning “strength, might, efficiency, wealth, power, army.” While these may not be words we think of when we speak of virtue (or even when we think of women), this is the type of woman whom God esteems: one who is filled with strength, might, and discipline as she works tirelessly to bring honor to her husband and support her family. There is a place in God’s army for women, and yes even single mothers. He is looking for virtuous women; women enlisted in His service, endowed with power, and whose hearts respect the patriarchal command that He has put in place. He has called us all to be soldiers of light.
I realize that all of the hardships and heartaches can be used to bring others to Him. We can do all things through Christ who gives us strength. Wait on Him and desire His very best because that is what He wants to give us. My prayer is that someone will read my testimony and be encouraged to move forward with a lighter heart to parent and nurture their children. Many precious blessings as you parent with Jesus by your side as comforter, helper, strength and the Fatherhood of God.
With love, blessings