Searching for love in all the wrong places caused me to give into things I thought I’d never do. For example, as a young teen I begin to rally myself with street gangs and people whom I thought would protect, love and value me. I gave into the wills of others and had my little boyfriend who wanted to show me what love is. After all, that is what I wanted from the beginning. I just didn’t realize that the love I needed was provided years prior through the power of the cross, which I will share later: but, as I begin to say yes to all sort of craziness and no to God ;my unfilled desire for love became a compass that led me deeper into sin and on a rocky road of becoming a single parent without hope, goals and essential life skills to parent… so it seemed.
I know that single parenting may occur in many forms, i.e. divorce, rape or death; to name few. Rather for me, I became a single mom (outside of God’ plan) by searching for true love, yes even love that I never experienced from a father because I never knew him. Also, the words” I love you” made it easy to give my body to a man who promised to cherish me. Please note: I was not a victim. I made choices and agreement along my journey. Nevertheless, I became a single mom at the age 17, a high school drop- out and homeless all with in the same year. And it didn’t stop there but I began giving the words; “I love you” again and again until I had three children at the age of 22. It was a hard season.
Struggle vs solution
Feeling there would be a day I’d see better and willed more, I was in a dark place and I didn’t want to continue to be a statistic in society by depending on the system to take care of my children and me. I was limited to where I could live because I had limited income. The man I loved was long gone and I was an uneducated woman with three babies depending on me. Consequently, I was depending on taxes payers to take care of us. I was living in a low-income home and it wasn’t safe. Then I realized the state of my life, and desired a better way for myself and my daughters. I wanted to create a better life for my girls so that they wouldn’t continue the pattern of child born outside of marriage.
Thankful I am that God had a plan to rescue me. I must be honest, things got really bad for me that I wanted to end it all and I attempted to. But, GOD! I am thankful that someone prayed for me and it created a desire in my heart to surrender to the tug on my heart. I begin to think that there has to be more to life than this…and, there was! Then discovered what true love really is. I discovered what true love is; I discovered that God is Love. “For God so loved the world that He gave his only begotten son, that whomsoever believe in Him shall not perish but have eternity life” (John 3:15). I am sincerely passionate about assisting single moms by sharing my testimony and wisdom gained over the years.
I was challenged through God’s word not to continue coping with life and living for my personal pleasure. His word challenged me to forsake my self-seeking pleasure, to honor him with my body in every aspect. To train my daughters to do the same. I am grateful that God changed my life and did not allow me to give up by ending my own life. He can do the same for anyone seeking answers just like I was. Maybe you have given up on life or maybe you have learned to ‘just cope’ with the situations in your life. I used to do this myself, but through the blood of Jesus Christ, I have a new beginning – and you can too. “Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ” (Philippians 1:6).
I know that Jesus Christ is able to complete the work He has started in me. When I am at a bleak point in my life, I just focus my mind on these words. It allows me to endure and to rest in knowing that He is not finished with me yet. It often amazes me to see how my life has turned out, and I wonder when the years went by…maybe when I was only coping with life. Yet ever since I’ve allowed Jesus to come into my heart, He has made my life an example to my daughters. I was offered an opportunity to return to school and complete my high school diploma. In addition, I went to college to earn my Bachelor’s degree in Human Service.