Carrying Weight vs Letting Go

carrying-weight vs letting go

carrying weight vs letting goBalance it out

There are all type of people in this world. A negative  influence does not precisely indicate the individual is bad. One does not receive an influence only by hanging out with the individual. One may also get the positive or negative influence by listening to them speak. There must be a  balance in a friendship; unless one is carrying weight. They must edify you and you must edify them. They must cheer you on as you cheer them on. There must bring the best out of you; as you do the same. It can’t just be one-sided; otherwise, one starts letting go.

                             Main issue when one looses a close friend


A way a friendship or acquaintance can easily drag each other down through actions and influences.  For instance,  If person  A is dragging person B down,  person B may also become abusive of their friendship. There are also those who feel loved and place that admiration towards others  high by giving and giving;  that it totally annoys the individual. Annoys, suffocates and drags down the individual. This is when person B may become emotionally abusive. It can also be that they feel accepted, loved and not judged that they lean on the individual and what they don’t notice is that they weigh them down. The leaning is so heavy because they don’t want to loose the friendship; but by suffocating them is all they gain; therefore, one begins carrying weight. This usually happens when a person becomes clingy and wants to speak with one 7 days a week about the same issues. The issue also becomes when  person B begins to pick up negative habits from person A; while person A is picking up positive influence from person B and both are not balancing out.


Allow friendships need to breathe. Wearing a tight underwear can cause a bad infection; you’re not letting your skin breathe. Same thing with a friendship. If you speak daily; it can suffocate and lead to a bad reaction. Friendships are here to counsel each other; yes. However, friends should also edify one another. Nothing good comes out of it if only issues are spoken of.


Will you set a limit to not feel overwhelmed?

Or do you not have enough on your own plate?

9 Responses

  1. Juan Saladin says:

    Matthew 18:9 says “And if your eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life with one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into the fire of hell.” If the analogy establishes that we should look forward to mutilating ourselves to avoid losing the greatest good of the eternal life in Christ; the same would apply for anything that may result alien to our body.

    God, within his own greatness, is respectful of our desitions (He want us to choose to love him rather than imposing Himself to us). That’s the reason why we must also be respectful and inspire the same from others to us. 

  2. Tom Hein says:

    Hi Linda,

    Emotions and how they are handled within our interpersonal relationships can be a tricky thing for sure. 

    Weight, whether physical or the effects of emotions, can be a protection mechanism don’t you think? We use the “weight” to insulate ourselves from things we won’t accept or face?

    And when this emotional weight isn’t processed and released, it can build up to the point of overload, and that’s where we really get into trouble. 

    Would you agree or not?


  3. Lisa says:

    Very good article!  As I heard once, a negative person can make a positive person negative but a positive person can’t make a negative person positive. It is hard to be around that time and time again. I have seen a friend be in this situation, she was positive and the new friend was negative…it is now hard for me to be around my friend because she has picked up so many new, unpleasant, habits. It’s hard to break contact with someone but sometimes our emotional health requires it!

  4. Chloe says:

    Starting from the topic alone I was already getting teary. We all have that heavy stuff on our mind, that burden we are holding to which is usually from the past. Such burden often cause setbacks for anyone if they don’t find a way to let go or move on. I have been in such situation and  must confess its not one i would want to be in ever again. Letting go is always the best thing to do. Thanks for sharing this wonderful post  

  5. Henderson says:

    This I say is a very sensitive post here. I believe that anyone who is my friend needs to understand my space. You cannot become a burden to me and make me carry so much. I have my own problems too. The example you have is spot on about the tight underwear causing an inflection. I will reflect on this and learn how to make friends understand my space.

  6. Stella says:

    This is a very interesting review. Am this quite woman who loves to keep my own company and be in my own world. I get pissed up when a friend is trying to cling on me for too long. This is because I see it as a waste of time. This attitude has given me a funny name which I don’t care. Off course, I love being around friends but should be minimal because I don’t have all the time. You are very right with statement that one shouldn’t put more weight on others. 

    Also, it is very common for friends to influence each other but the worse scenerio is for one party to copy the wrong character of the friend that is already emulating your good character. I found this review interesting. Thanks for sharing .

  7. Adyns68 says:

    Hi Linda

    I think real friendship doesn’t depend on how many times you meet or talk to each other. As long as you take time now and then to catch up. I think that is what works better for me. 

    Finding the balance between my friends, my work, my family and myself is the goal. It’s not easy but it is needed. And I think giving each other time to breathe make the reconnection more fun.

    Thanks for another great post 

  8. Pentrental says:

    Great reference to Corinthians 10:13 here as temptation has a way of added great weight to the shoulders, but the escape from these temptations or negative influences can be bearable. Balance is always key. I agree that being clingy can weigh someone down and also that admiration can be a weight as well. It takes a strong person to understand his or her wrongdoing and a strong person to let someone go. Again it come back to balance. Very sound advice in advising people to breathe and let breathe. There are two sides to the coin always.

  9. Paula says:

    I’ve had some friends and acquaintances take up too much of my time. I had one lady sit in my living room for hours. She thought the cable channel (545) was the time. She thought it was that time for 4 hours! It made me really not want to talk with her again. Not because she is a bad person, but I just didn’t have time. I was in an online class and had teenagers at home. I like your comment about letting a friendship breathe. Good analogy..!

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