Carrying Weight vs Letting Go

carrying-weight vs letting go

carrying weight vs letting goBalance it out

There are all type of people in this world. A negative  influence does not precisely indicate the individual is bad. One does not receive an influence only by hanging out with the individual. One may also get the positive or negative influence by listening to them speak. There must be a  balance in a friendship; unless one is carrying weight. They must edify you and you must edify them. They must cheer you on as you cheer them on. There must bring the best out of you; as you do the same. It can’t just be one-sided; otherwise, one starts letting go.

                             Main issue when one looses a close friend


A way a friendship or acquaintance can easily drag each other down through actions and influences.  For instance,  If person  A is dragging person B down,  person B may also become abusive of their friendship. There are also those who feel loved and place that admiration towards others  high by giving and giving;  that it totally annoys the individual. Annoys, suffocates and drags down the individual. This is when person B may become emotionally abusive. It can also be that they feel accepted, loved and not judged that they lean on the individual and what they don’t notice is that they weigh them down. The leaning is so heavy because they don’t want to loose the friendship; but by suffocating them is all they gain; therefore, one begins carrying weight. This usually happens when a person becomes clingy and wants to speak with one 7 days a week about the same issues. The issue also becomes when  person B begins to pick up negative habits from person A; while person A is picking up positive influence from person B and both are not balancing out.


Allow friendships need to breathe. Wearing a tight underwear can cause a bad infection; you’re not letting your skin breathe. Same thing with a friendship. If you speak daily; it can suffocate and lead to a bad reaction. Friendships are here to counsel each other; yes. However, friends should also edify one another. Nothing good comes out of it if only issues are spoken of.


Will you set a limit to not feel overwhelmed?

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10 thoughts on “Carrying Weight vs Letting Go

  1. Starting from the topic alone I was already getting teary. We all have that heavy stuff on our mind, that burden we are holding to which is usually from the past. Such burden often cause setbacks for anyone if they don’t find a way to let go or move on. I have been in such situation and  must confess its not one i would want to be in ever again. Letting go is always the best thing to do. Thanks for sharing this wonderful post  

  2. This I say is a very sensitive post here. I believe that anyone who is my friend needs to understand my space. You cannot become a burden to me and make me carry so much. I have my own problems too. The example you have is spot on about the tight underwear causing an inflection. I will reflect on this and learn how to make friends understand my space.

  3. This is a very interesting review. Am this quite woman who loves to keep my own company and be in my own world. I get pissed up when a friend is trying to cling on me for too long. This is because I see it as a waste of time. This attitude has given me a funny name which I don’t care. Off course, I love being around friends but should be minimal because I don’t have all the time. You are very right with statement that one shouldn’t put more weight on others. 

    Also, it is very common for friends to influence each other but the worse scenerio is for one party to copy the wrong character of the friend that is already emulating your good character. I found this review interesting. Thanks for sharing .

  4. Hi Linda

    I think real friendship doesn’t depend on how many times you meet or talk to each other. As long as you take time now and then to catch up. I think that is what works better for me. 

    Finding the balance between my friends, my work, my family and myself is the goal. It’s not easy but it is needed. And I think giving each other time to breathe make the reconnection more fun.

    Thanks for another great post 

    1. Adyns68,
      You’re right. Friendship doesn’t depend on how often you get together etc. There are friendships I’ve had for years and hardly see. The important thing is for these friends to be a blessing in our lives.There are different ways one can perceive this article; you have gotten the point of it.
      Some people take it as “Don’t give friends your time of day” however, that’s not it.
      A friend should edify us; not bring us down.

  5. Great reference to Corinthians 10:13 here as temptation has a way of added great weight to the shoulders, but the escape from these temptations or negative influences can be bearable. Balance is always key. I agree that being clingy can weigh someone down and also that admiration can be a weight as well. It takes a strong person to understand his or her wrongdoing and a strong person to let someone go. Again it come back to balance. Very sound advice in advising people to breathe and let breathe. There are two sides to the coin always.

    1. Pentrental,
      Why thank you.
      I believe not many people understand that every single minute of our time is valuable and should be used wisely with people who will edify us and not keep us behind. I have a friend whom I asked room to breathe because I was getting so overwhelmed by always hearing the same things; yet when I did this, she completely took it to an extreme. Now, we hardly talk but honestly, I have peace now and no spiritual heaviness.

  6. I’ve had some friends and acquaintances take up too much of my time. I had one lady sit in my living room for hours. She thought the cable channel (545) was the time. She thought it was that time for 4 hours! It made me really not want to talk with her again. Not because she is a bad person, but I just didn’t have time. I was in an online class and had teenagers at home. I like your comment about letting a friendship breathe. Good analogy..!

  7. Hi Linda,

    Emotions and how they are handled within our interpersonal relationships can be a tricky thing for sure. 

    Weight, whether physical or the effects of emotions, can be a protection mechanism don’t you think? We use the “weight” to insulate ourselves from things we won’t accept or face?

    And when this emotional weight isn’t processed and released, it can build up to the point of overload, and that’s where we really get into trouble. 

    Would you agree or not?


    1. I totally agree Tom.
      Great words. I believe the emotions pile up so much that when they are released with specific friends, it becomes overwhelming to the individual which leaves unpleasantness. The problem is when its done daily! Like a spirit of victimizing’ I…I…I…I…etc

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