Carrying weight-Loose vs Abuse

Have you ever felt like you are carrying weight on your shoulders? Maybe your own stress? Well the fact that you are feeling weight doesn’t mean you are stressed all the time from your own faults. It may also mean you’re carrying someone else’s problems.  We must be very careful whom we are around people and whom we socialize with. Some people tend to be clingy and it’s difficult to unglue them without hurting their feelings.

Balance it out

There are all type of people in this world. A negative  influence does not mean they are bad people. One does not get a negative influence only by hanging out with the individual. One may also get the positive or negative influence just by listening to them speak. There must be a  balance in a friendship. They must edify you and you must edify them. They must cheer you on as you cheer them on. There must bring the best out of you as you do the same. It can’t just be one-sided; that’s wrong. If you begin to see they have you up on an admiration star, and you don’t do the same; then it’s time to examine yourself.  However, sometimes it doesn’t roll that way.  This is option.

Option 1

This is the way it usually works: If person A has person B up on an admiration star, but person B doesn’t return that perspective of person A; it is more likely that person A is dragging person B down as person B may also become abusive of their friendship. This usually happens when a person becomes clingy and wants to speak with you 7 days a week. The issue also becomes when  person B begins to pick up negative habits from person A; while person A is picking up positive influence from person B. There is no balance.

Option 2

Another way one can also drag someone else down by it not being stress or carrying issues is by admiration. There are those who are prideful and exalt themselves. They seek to be looked up on and there are those who are humble and don’t seek that at all. There are also those who feel loved and place that admiration star high by giving and giving that it totally annoys the individual. Annoys, suffocates and drags down the individual. It can also be that they feel accepted, loved and not judged that they lean on the individual and what they don’t notice is that they weigh them down. The leaning is so heavy because they don’t want to loose the friendship; but by suffocating them is all they gain.

Breathe

Allow friendships to breathe. Wearing a tight underwear can cause a bad infection; you’re not letting your skin breathe. Same thing with a friendship. If you speak daily; it can suffocate and lead to a bad reaction.

Question:

Will you let people breathe or will you suffocate them?

Will you be suffocated or will you place limits?

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10 thoughts on “Carrying weight-Loose vs Abuse

  1. This is a very interesting review. Am this quite woman who loves to keep my own company and be in my own world. I get pissed up when a friend is trying to cling on me for too long. This is because I see it as a waste of time. This attitude has given me a funny name which I don’t care. Off course, I love being around friends but should be minimal because I don’t have all the time. You are very right with statement that one shouldn’t put more weight on others. 

    Also, it is very common for friends to influence each other but the worse scenerio is for one party to copy the wrong character of the friend that is already emulating your good character. I found this review interesting. Thanks for sharing .

    1. Stella,
      There are different ways one can perceive this article; you have gotten the point of it.
      Some people take it as “Don’t give friends your time of day” however, that’s not it.
      A friend should edify us; not bring us down.

  2. Hi Linda

    I think real friendship doesn’t depend on how many times you meet or talk to each other. As long as you take time now and then to catch up. I think that is what works better for me. 

    Finding the balance between my friends, my work, my family and myself is the goal. It’s not easy but it is needed. And I think giving each other time to breathe make the reconnection more fun.

    Thanks for another great post 

    1. Adyns68,
      You’re right. Friendship doesn’t depend on how often you gettogether etc. There are friendships I’ve had for years and hardly see. The important thing is for these friends to be a blessingin our lives.

  3. Great reference to Corinthians 10:13 here as temptation has a way of added great weight to the shoulders, but the escape from these temptations or negative influences can be bearable. Balance is always key. I agree that being clingy can weigh someone down and also that admiration can be a weight as well. It takes a strong person to understand his or her wrongdoing and a strong person to let someone go. Again it come back to balance. Very sound advice in advising people to breathe and let breathe. There are two sides to the coin always.

    1. Pentrental,
      Why thank you.
      I believe not many people understand that every single minute of our time is valuable and should be used wisely with people who will edify us and not keep us behind. I have a friend whom I asked room to breathe because I was getting so overwhelmed by always hearing the same things; yet when I did this, she completely took it to an extreme. Now, we hardly talk but honestly, I have peace now and no spiritual heaviness.

  4. I’ve had some friends and acquaintances take up too much of my time. I had one lady sit in my living room for hours. She thought the cable channel (545) was the time. She thought it was that time for 4 hours! It made me really not want to talk with her again. Not because she is a bad person, but I just didn’t have time. I was in an online class and had teenagers at home. I like your comment about letting a friendship breathe. Good analogy..!

    1. Ohno; Paula!!!
      I don’t like when people come into your come thinking they can stay for hours; as if you didn’t have things to do.
      That is so uncomfortable! I am so sorry…. I believe this is when we need the wisdom to know how to communicate to get our point across.

  5. Hi Linda,

    Emotions and how they are handled within our interpersonal relationships can be a tricky thing for sure. 

    Weight, whether physical or the effects of emotions, can be a protection mechanism don’t you think? We use the “weight” to insulate ourselves from things we won’t accept or face?

    And when this emotional weight isn’t processed and released, it can build up to the point of overload, and that’s where we really get into trouble. 

    Would you agree or not?

    Tom

    1. I totally agree Tom.
      Great words. I believe the emotions pike up so much that when they are released with specific friends, it becomes overwhelming to the individual which leaves unpleasantness. The problem is when its done daily! Like a spirit of victimizing’ I…I…I…I…etc

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